A slightly questionable start from Driff saw us spending the opening minutes getting far too comfortable in our own defensive quarter, with Rotherham pressing like their lives depended on it. Eventually, we remembered there was a whole other half of the pitch to play on and started finding our feet, breaking through the middle and creating some promising opportunities in the D. Better late than never.

The breakthrough came courtesy of a lovely bit of teamwork. Em swept the ball across the D from the top, finding Charlotte waiting patiently at the back post, who produced a cracking reverse-stick deflection into the backboard. Absolutely filthy finish.

1-0

Rotherham responded with a tidy reverse finish of their own to bring things level. Fair play, we suppose.

1-1

Some lovely linking play from the mother-daughter duo of Charlotte and Fi, combining with some neat two-touch hockey up the pitch. Both showed off their reverse-stick control, bringing hits to a dead stop before distributing the ball further up the pitch. A few promising chances followed, sadly just missing that final finishing touch.

Things got a little spicy when a foot on the line resulted in a penalty stroke. Unfortunately, their keeper had other ideas, channelling her inner Maddie Hinch to pull off an absolutely ridiculous save. Rude, quite frankly.

At the other end, Kat was having an absolute blinder between the posts, pulling off some brilliant saves throughout. Ash also decided to audition for the England squad, producing an outrageous pick out of the air off the goal line. Alongside Em, Abi and Drew, the defence dealt with Rotherham's breaks with absolute composure, calmly dispossessing attackers and distributing out from the back with ease. Exactly what you want at the back.

Half-time: time to switch on.

Driff came out for the second half with a little more purpose and it didn't take long for the pressure to pay off. Lauren picked up the ball on the left and delivered a brilliant pass into the top of the D, where Hannah was waiting to produce a lovely flick past the keeper. Cool, calm and collected. Well, one of us was…

Meanwhile, things were getting a little heated between Keira and her opposing player, resulting in both being summoned to what can only be described as an emergency HR meeting with the umpire.

A huge shift from the midfield of Kate, Charlotte, Amber and Keira, who ran tirelessly, skilling players and generally making life rather unpleasant for Rotherham. Someone check their Strava – hopefully they started their watches, otherwise it doesn't count.

Next up, Driff won a penalty corner, with Kate injecting to Charlotte at the top of the D, who slipped the ball back to Kate on the post. Kate sent a flick across the face of goal, where Bron was waiting on the P spot to reverse volley it into the backboard. Years of cricket with Dad clearly weren't wasted after all. Finally, a return on investment.

Amber picked up a green card for not being 5, with the umpire seemingly expecting her to set a two-minute timer and let him know when she was ready to rejoin the party. How bizarre.

Up front, Lauren, Fi, Bron and Hannah kept the pressure firmly on, pressing the ball, making key runs down the line and creating brilliant breaks. A constant nuisance for the Rotherham defence – exactly the kind of behaviour we encourage.

Charlotte then decided she'd not quite finished for the day, unleashing an absolute rocket of a hit across the D for Hannah to finish with a tidy tap-in at the post. A second for Hannah and another assist for Charlotte's tally. At this point, Rotherham might have wanted to consider marking them.

Away from the pitch, Fi has also been putting together a rather impressive collection of donkey moments this week. First, leaving her car window down at the Sports Centre for the entire day. Then there's the mystery of the cuts down her shorts. And, in a particularly impressive display of team administration, somehow managing to leave Harriet, Holly, Abi and even her own vice-captain Keira out of the team group chat. At this point, we're not sure what more she needs to do to secure the title.

Girlie of the match: Charlotte and Lauren – huge work rate, ridiculous skills and putting in an absolute shift.

Donkey of the match: Fi. Much like Kimi could secure the WDC this weekend, Fi may have already secured Donkey of the Season. A dominant performance, quite frankly.

Match teas: 6/10
Starting to think we're being pranked with the repeated appearance of the chip butty away teas. Bread and marg? Chips? Is this a hockey club or a rationing experiment? At least the chips were crispy, so we'll give them that. We're not asking for Michelin stars, just a little variety.

Until next week...